In the part of the country where I reside, driving takes a lot of skills. You might be good at driving within your local vicinity but how really good you are can be judged when you are on the highway. We are known for a kind of driving which is called “bumper to bumper”. In this kind of driving, you have to be at alert and sharp. If you have to change a lane, simply keep glancing at your side mirrors for that fellow who is a little distracted and enter his front.
One day while me and my husband were driving, he wanted to change lane and as he put on his trafficator, it was as if he told the other drivers to move faster. They just started speeding up. Well we waited till a nice driver slowed down and allowed us to enter. Amidst this wait, I told my husband that you don’t trafficate before you change lane, you change lane and then trafficate. I’m sure some of you would be laughing and saying, what sort of driving rule is that?
My husband said something I held onto and this changed me for good. He said, “if everyone decides to drive that way, we would end up going no where because you that didn’t allow someone to be in front of you would need to be in front of someone and what if that person decided to be like you? When I allow someone in front of me, someone would allow me in front of him/her when I want to”. He went on to add that, “sometimes the person you allow in front of you might not allow you in front of him when you want to. Don’t bother, someone else will”. “Hmmmm, wow”. was all that I could say. The lesson I learnt from my husband’s words were, “Do to others what you want to be done to you and don’t expect too much from anyone”
Treat others as you want them to treat you. “Do you think you deserve credit for merely loving those who love you? Even the godless do that! And if you do good only to those who do you good—is that so wonderful? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, what good is that? Even the most wicked will lend to their own kind for full return! “Love your enemies! Do good to them! Lend to them! And don’t be concerned about the fact that they won’t repay. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as sons of God: for he is kind to the unthankful and to those who are very wicked. Luke 6:31-35 (TLB)
This is so explanatory, so straight to the point. So many of the times we miss the deep meaning of these words. It is so common for us to help only those who can help us in return. What about those who can’t help us in return? If we continue on this part, we limit ourselves of the great things that await us.
I remember the story of a man I was told about. He had finished school, was looking for a job here and there. On this fateful day as he was driving along, he saw a broken down vehicle, the owner was waving for help. He just needed someone to tow him some meters to where he would find a mechanic. No one seemed to stop, everyone sped along. This man decided to stop and help him. He was driving a saloon vehicle and he was to tow an SUV. He did it not expecting anything in return. When they got to the mechanic, the man who he had helped tow his car thanked him so much and asked for his name and collected his number.
He didn’t ask the man for his name or number in return. He just went on his way. Somehow along the line, he got a job that was able to provide his daily bread and fuel his car. He totally forgot that he ever helped someone sometime ago. One day his phone began to ring and it was a number he didn’t know. He decided to pick the call and the person on the other end introduced himself as the person he helped some years ago. He tried to recollect the scenario and baam, he remembered and greeted the man so nicely and warmly. The man asked him, where do you work? Are you ok where you are? That was how he got a job that gave him four times what he was getting from where he was initially.
Help people because they need your help, Love people because they need to be loved. Don’t expect anything in return. You will end up having your hopes dashed when you don’t get anything back. You would end up deciding not to help again and thereby losing whatever reward that was prepared for that help you would have offered.
I have been at this point too. I helped some people and looked forward to be appreciated. When I wasn’t, I felt very very bad that I told my husband. He apologized on their behalf but I expected more from them. When I woke up the next morning, I awoke with the verses I quoted above on my lips and that made me feel so much better. That day, I created a slogan which I live by – “Don’t expect too much and you would always be happy.”
To you who always abuse the help you get. Those helping you are allowed to be weary of you. So when you need to ask for help, make sure you really need that help and appreciate whatever help you receive. Don’t think it’s their duty to help you. Even if it is, appreciate them else get ready to be treated same way.
Those of you who your help have been abused. I don’t know how best to tell you to continue to help.
As you know, my articles are three times in a week. Till you read from me again, Treat others exactly how you want to be treated and help and love others without expecting anything in return.
God bless you.
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