When it’s not what you call it…

I would be sharing in this article and others something that is so dear to my heart. It is intended to encourage someone and put another on the right part. It would be treated as a series as if I have to write it all at once, it will be a very long read and you may not finish it. It would be divided and given different topics but be sure to read them after the other to get the bigger picture.

Growing up, I used to be taller than my younger sister who was the last born at the time. (She got stripped of the title years after) suddenly, out of no where we became same height such that whenever we went out to buy dresses or had to sew one, either of us stands in for the other. We were always referred to as twins but that title was short lived. Need I mention that we sound alike? Oh yes we do till this day. As though that would be the climax, next thing I didn’t see coming which took me unawares was that she overtook me. And now I was always mistaken for her younger sister.

Astime went on and we all began to mature, I was less noticed and I always told myself that it was because I wasn’t beautiful and worse of all I told myself that it was because I was short. Gradually, I began to slowly wear the garment of low self esteem. Fast forward to when I got into school at a very young age and word went round that a young person was in school. I felt down once again as I told myself that I wasn’t supposed to be here, I was supposed to be with people my age. It was so bad that it was so difficult for me to make friends. I always felt I wasn’t good enough and so that was the beginning of my lone-ranger kind of life.

I didn’t know the harm this new garment I wore was going to bring me. It was until I could hardly go out or walk where there is a lot of people that I began to understand what it was that I have done to myself. Funny enough, I never knew that it was called ‘Low Self Esteem’ as people just simply thought I was extremely introverted and melancholic – I am still introverted and melancholic. There is a lot of harm that this garment brings to its wearers. Many a times it takes its wearer prisoner and make them mental slaves. And when one has gotten to the point of mental slavery, it becomes hard to help such a one except the person decides he wants to be helped. Many a times victims of this despicable disease, in a bid to fit into society makes matters worse by wearing a cape of pride and arrogance over this garment.

Credit: Google

I’ve seen people who are just as described. They don’t wanna be vulnerable enough to get help or even help themselves and the case continues till it gets out of hand and everyone begin to either keep away from them temporarily or avoid them completely. I will be sharing in subsequent articles how to identify and overcome it from my own experience. Below are some questions to ask yourself. Your answers will determine if this article is for you or not.

  1. Do you feel you aren’t good enough?
  2. Do you feel you aren’t talented enough?
  3. Do you find yourself seeking approval from people to feel good about yourself?
  4. Do you find yourself trying to get attention from people to feel validated?
  5. Are you one who likes to live a lie to belong?
  6. Are you one who hides your true identity to fit in?
  7. Do you always have an answer to every question simply to feel among?
  8. Are you trustworthy or will work to earn people’s trust?
  9. Are you ready to take a positive step even if it will make you look like a fool?
  10. Are you ready to move out of your comfort zone?
  11. Are you ready to go the extra mile?
  12. Do you want to be better than you are now?

If your answers to questions 1-7 are ‘NO’, thanks for reading this far. Please I’ll ask one Favour of you, share or pass this article to someone who will inturn do same till we get someone whose answers are ‘YES’. If you answered ‘YES’ to questions 8-12, Leggo, we have a train to catch. If you answered otherwise, you are still very much welcome onboard. Just ensure you bring someone along.

Until you read from me, let this week be a week of self discovery.

Mrs O loves you big and God bless you.


Published by Phebe

Hello, I'm Phebe! (Pronounced "fee bee") My friends call me Phebs or Phebet! I wear many hats (Wife, Mom, Architect, Designer, Business owner and so on) and I try to blend them beautifully by God’s Grace.

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