Don’t call it what it’s not…

Sequel to my post When it’s not what you call it, I would be sharing the evils that low self esteem does to its victim and how to overcome and be confident from personal experiences.

After I got into school and felt out of place for the first few weeks, I cannot tell you in particular what changed but one thing I remember was waking up one day and determine not to be invisible anymore. I suddenly became so aware of what this garment was about to do. It was about to cover me up and make me so invisible and quiet. I began to love myself, became happy with myself and the level I was at. I was proud of myself for beating all odds to be far above my age mates and be way ahead of them. Many a times, finding self-worth is taking the first step which is love and not just any love but love for who you are, what you have, where you are and what you will become when you get to where you are going doing what you are meant to do. 

Before we go far, let’s just take a quick look at the evils of low self esteem;

  • It first attacks your identity
  • Then tell you convincing lies that you easily believe
  • Next it steals your joy and always make you feel you are not good enough
  • It then pushes deep down into you and make you either quiet or outspoken
  • When you are quiet, people hardly know what you are dealing with and you can quietly recover
  • When you become outspoken, it’s majorly to get approval from people and make yourself look good.
  • When trying to look good, you begin to see problem with people who are better than you
  • You begin to say uncool things about them or what they do to feel good about who you are or where you are
  • And this type is easily noticed by onlookers, readers and those around you
  • And most times people in this category despise help.

I was on the quiet side so I overcome it by Gods help before people even knew. All they knew was that I was reserved. Back to my story, after Secondary school, I got into University immediately and being a much bigger crowd and different kinds of people, I almost crept back into my shell. I had to daily tell myself that I can do it and that was how I gradually took a day at a time and improved. There was this day, some of my class mates and I were in the Architecture studio designing and someone took over my drawing table and moved my things aside. Normally, I would have just picked my stuff and go back to the hostel as no where for me to work. But this day I didn’t, I challenged him on why he did what he did. And I made him understand what he did was so wrong and I wanted my table back. He didn’t like the fact that I stood up to him and the next thing he said was how dare me talk to him as I was not his mate and his younger sister was older than me. It was as though he awoke the giant in me as I stood there not knowing where the boldness came from and I told him how proud I was to be his mate despite being younger than his sister age wise. He felt so terrible and everyone who was watching challenged him for wanting to oppress me. I got my table back and got to my work and for the first time, I felt peace. All I could mumble was “Thank you Lord.”

Credit : Google
This took me to the story of David and Goliath and from then on, whenever I found myself been down, I always remember calling myself David. David didn’t bury or hide his face when Goliath challenged him, he stood for Isreal with God on his side and he overcame the enemy of the Isrealites. 

Steps to Self awareness and Self worth

  • Love yourself for how and who God created you to be.
  • Ask yourself what it is that makes you feel not good enough
  • Who said you aren’t good enough (many a-times, we are the one telling ourselves this)
  • What can you do to better yourself. (Academically, morally, spiritually and so on)
  • Write them down and be positive.
  • Read them to you in front of a mirror.
  • Be vulnerable to learn from people who are better than you (younger or older)
  • Watch you become a better confident you.

Now in the professional world when I meet a lot of Goliaths, like David- I am with God’s help, bold and confident of who God has made me. For my stature, yes I am still short but my height is a blessing from my maker because anytime people see me, they first look down on me but when I begin to do what I am called to do professionally or locally, I enjoy the “wow look” on their faces. I encourage you to Love yourself for who you are and how you are. Aim at working to be a better version of you. Don’t let your present weaknesses bury you or cause you to be invisible. Be vulnerable sometimes to seek help and be helped.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~ Lucille Ball

“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” ~ Fred Rogers

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” ~ Stacey Charter

Low self esteem can make people lose everything when not dealt with. Feel free to contact me if you need help, I’ll be happy and honored to help you as God leads me.

Mrs O loves you big and God bless you.


Published by Phebe

Hello, I'm Phebe! (Pronounced "fee bee") My friends call me Phebs or Phebet! I wear many hats (Wife, Mom, Architect, Designer, Business owner and so on) and I try to blend them beautifully by God’s Grace.

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