Anyone here who has never been hurt?
Hmmmm. Smiling as I write this article because I can remember where I am coming from. If you are reading this and currently struggling with letting go of that hurt or contemplating on whether you should forgive or not, please read on.
I look at me in the mirror everyday and tell myself,
“Phebe, you are beautiful!!!”
Vain right? But that confession and affirmation keeps me going every day. I have had to grow up faster than people in my age group because of what life threw my way at a young age.
Do I wish it any other way?
“NO!!! I am thankful to God because it didn’t break me, instead it molded me.”
I had a dated dairy to write down all the hurts and many of them had one positive confession or other at the end. I wrote those confessions because I wanted to prove a point to the one who had hurt me. Not acknowledging or understanding the power of forgiveness, I held unto my dairy of hurts and constantly opened and read from it to remind myself of the hurts.
Did it make me feel any better?
“NO!!! It only took me to a place of bitterness. Been a deep thinker, I would sit down and imagine things and then I will return back to my world of reality only to find the hurt still there.”
My world of great imagination made me feel better but it didn’t take away the hurt. And it didn’t stop me from getting hurt even more. When I finally decided I was ready to let go, I thought telling them how much they hurt me would maybe somehow make them apologize. But some did and some didn’t. Instead they went on to hurt me again.
Bitterness and unforgiveness puts a blindfold on anyone who is under its hold. You don’t get to see past the hurt you feel. It eats its victim and strips them of anything that brings joy. All you end up seeing beyond your nose is the one who did you wrong. I remember getting so tired and crying my heart out to God to help me forgive all those who hurt me. I took my time to mention everyone of them by name while I told God I forgive them.
Every day I prayed, I always mentioned all my offenders to God and I forgave them. As the days went, I began to feel light and light till I got my joy back and good God I got it back over and over. As I grew up and my relationship with God grew intimate, I learned to forgive before I am hurt.
Is it that easy?
“NO!!! You need the help of God.”
Be aware that not all offenders would apologize to you when you tell them you are hurt by what they either said or did. What do you do in this situation? “From experience, I’ve learnt to always ask God if I need to talk to the offender and this is after I have forgiven them in my heart prayerfully.” Let the wisdom of God guide you to take the best route in your walk towards forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a choice, and the decision to forgive is yours to make. I can only tell you that forgiving someone who has done you wrong will give you peace. This is where you put the “Lord’s prayer” (Matthew 6:9-13) to practical use. Sometimes I wonder if I had to be punished for every wrong doing, how that would turn out. God forgives and he desires that we who say we know and love him do likewise.
Does it mean no one will ever hurt me?
“NO!!! They will still hurt you but when you ask God to help you, forgiving them will become natural to you because you have the nature of your maker – God.”
“Forgiveness is to your heart and soul as fresh air is to your body on a sunny day.” – Phebe Olaniran
“Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.” – William Arthur Ward
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” – Robert Muller
Join me from 1st – 3rd November as I will be sharing on the Forgiveness Series : Forgiving yourself, Forgiving others and Enjoying the benefits of God’s Forgiveness.
God bless you and keep you.