Woke up one beautiful morning during the weekend and decided that we were going to eat pounded yam. Nothing was going to change my mind on this decision. I didn’t have soup prepared and there was no yam too. My baby sis asked me how we were going to eat pounded yam. I had no answer but I had a plan working itself out in my head.
Fast forward to time to prepare. I looked in my freezer and everything I needed to make my soup was available and so we got to work and boom! Soup was ready. While preparing the soup, I dialed my boyfriend and told him to help buy a piece of yam on his way home. He obliged and yam became available. I immediately sliced, peeled, diced it and put it to cook.
Thirty minutes into cook time, yam was still strong. 45 mins it was still cooking. I checked to see if it was soft, and it wasn’t. You would wonder if I was cooking a stone. Everyone started getting impatient and I also was becoming angry at the yam. Finally I got to touch some soft pieces but because of my impatience, I didn’t check enough to see that some weren’t. I poured yam into my mixing bowl and began mixing and those tough ones wouldn’t break. Or rather they broke into small pieces but wouldn’t fold in. I ended up having pounded yam with plenty koko(I don’t know the exact definition but they are pebble like. Just imagine having seeds in mashed potatoes, that’s the best explanation I can make of ‘koko’)
Ah ha, trust my boyfriend whose traditional meal is pounded yam and he was a fan of it before marrying this his northern bred. He just stared at me and my pounded yam and I began explaining myself. Because we were hungry, we ate it all. It was not a smooth eating because of the koko, but we did anyway. And this is the end of part 1 of my ‘yam story’ as this article isn’t about my yam. Read on, I am getting somewhere.
For some of us, we are so hungry for power or position or even success that we wouldn’t mind the ‘koko’ served in our dish of life. The need to satisfy these pangs of hunger end up giving us an uncomfortable ride and because of how desperate we are to satisfy this hunger, we take it anyway. You have so made up your mind on a thing and would do anything to ensure you achieve it even if it’s sinful and uncomfortable as a child of God.
I could have been flexible. I could have just prepared some semolina or poundo yam. But I decided to put everyone through an uncomfortable meal time because I had a made up mind. The deliciousness of the soup didn’t make the ‘koko’ any less or any palatable. Making up one’s mind is not wrong at all. But what is the motive behind it. Why put others in an uncomfortable position because your decisions must rule.
These, my dear friend has wrecked beautiful homes, blossoming friendship and even a thriving professional life. When I discovered the yam was taking forever to cook, I should have known that was a clear “find an alternative” but nah, I followed through. You hit a rock the first time and have a swollen head, but you wouldn’t wait to see in between the lines. You keep going and going till you are scarred and uncomfortable to enjoy what you decided to get by all means.
When things do not go as planned, be flexible enough to take another route. Sometimes it’s obvious we aren’t heading anywhere but we go anyway. Other times, it obvious we are hurting people with that decision but we go ahead anyway. Know when you are being led and when your head is making your mind not to yield. Sometimes funny enough, it’s pride. Yes I said it. “How would they see me if I change my mind”. Okay now that you didn’t and went through, how do they see you?
Can they see your effort and say, “thanks for going out of your way” or all they see is a selfish person who doesn’t care.
Next time when you are overwhelmed by a tough situation, find the WORD, the INSTRUCTION, the MAP and that OPPORTUNITY.
So today as you end this long read, check yourself as I am doing same and find the ‘in between lines’.
You will see the beauty that can come out from it all.
If only I went for semolina or poundo yam, what a beauty that would have been to behold and indulge in the well mixed ‘swallow’ sitting beside the appetizing bowl of soup.
Be encouraged, because things sometimes do not go our way not because God hates us but because it may not turn out well.
“What would you do if you couldn’t do what you want?’-“Something else.”” ― Marty Rubin
“A flexible mind has a better chance to think differently and take a unique path in the life journey.” – Pearl Zhu