Is being DIFFERENT good or bad?

“To be nobody but yourself in a world doing its best to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human can ever fight and never stop fighting.” – E. E. Cummings

When I started working at my place of work, I was this young lady who would not be taken for a ride. I observed and learnt from my observations because I had to work with colleagues who had different temperaments and a mix of them. My goal through God’s help was to ensure that I had great interpersonal relationship with each one of them to the best of my power. I told myself I was going to ensure that I kept my private business private but along the line, I slipped and it cost me. When I realised I had slipped, I got up, cleaned up and asked God for help and gradually, I began to walk in the path I was supposed to.

one-red-flower-1379611-639x440When I became a Mrs, it was like a new book was issued to me to write in. I drew from the well of my observation of people around and their experiences and I learnt to separate good milk from sour milk. I chose to be me, guard my heart and family by ensuring that I knew when to speak and when to be quiet. I daily asked the Lord to help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. 

Does that mean, I was never angry?

No! I was angry because I was hurt often. I heard things that I was disappointed about. But I made up my mind to forgive every time and forget but learn from it.

I was spoken about. I became a topic of discussion. Why? Simply because some expected me to be somebody else and I chose to be Me. I chose to be a better Me. I chose to be different! The best way to live a beautiful life is to live it God’s way. You will not be loved by all and you probably will become a point of discussion but don’t let that disturb you. You’ll find out in the end that you made the right decision to be you and not just you but to be different.

I can’t remember how I came about this point of view or school of thought, but I am driven by these words – “People do not know what’s in your heart when you know when to keep quiet”.

Being different will cost you friends but in the end those you will have at your side will be the ones you can learn from. Also note that what you sit to hear say a lot about what will be expected from you. “A topic you will not contribute to, do not sit where it’s being discussed.” 

“Fitting in allows you to blend in with everyone else, but being different allows you to be yourself, to be unique and to be more creative.” – Sonya Parker

In my mind, this article is addressed to the young brides but every one of us can draw lessons from it by asking ourselves this questions:

  • In our day to day living, do you maintain the ‘status quo’ or you are termed different?
  • Do you do what you do because that’s what everyone does?
  • Have you ever asked why a thing is done a particular way or why people do what they do?
  • Do you know whether what is done is done out of false living or absolute pretence?

If you have answered, Yes, Yes, No, No to the questions above. That’s okay because now you know where to start from. Pick up yourself, clean yourself up and start again. It doesn’t take so much to be truly different, it takes you being tired of living your life to please others or according to their standards and choosing to walk your God designed path. It won’t be easy at first, but ask God to help you to be consistent.

It takes a decision to start something and the continuous process of doing it makes it a habit. For me, when I discovered that what I say informs my hearers for good or bad, I have learnt to know which story to tell and that not to tell. I have learnt to be truly different and its by God’s grace I am keeping on.

“Intelligent people choose their words carefully. Those who know what they are doing remain calm.” – ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17:27‬ ‭ERV‬‬

“The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.” – Albert Einstein

Dare to be different!

God bless you.



Published by Phebe

Hello, I'm Phebe! (Pronounced "fee bee") My friends call me Phebs or Phebet! I wear many hats (Wife, Mom, Architect, Designer, Business owner and so on) and I try to blend them beautifully by God’s Grace.

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